Tuesday, December 12, 2006

How Did I Get Here? Rambling Thoughts

I've been asking myself this question a lot lately. I got married earlyish (24) and waited to get pregnant at first...but probably around 27-28 I really started wanting a child more than ever. My husband (J) really wasn't quite ready, so we pushed back trying to about 29. J always told me that he just knew the first time we tried I would get pregnant...and you know what? He was right and I was in shock! My excitement was short lived however when I lost my symptoms suddenly and then started to spot shortly there after, miscarrying at about 6 weeks...back then I wasn't really keeping track - HA!

So, I miscarried in July 05 and because we had a lot coming up in the next few months, we decided to hold off until October. Then the TTC really started...November...December...January (SIL pregnant) February...March...April...May (18 year old HS gives birth)...Visit RE: All the usually suspects - J's sperm seems a bit sticky but a follow up test looks good. My HSG shows potential tube problem, lap with Endo removed, normal tubes. June...July...August...September...(to be accurate, we really didn't TRY in Aug/Sept. as we traveled to Europe in October (+) Beta 13 - lovely - must have been a chemical?
November: semi-break to have bunches of tests, anti-coag etc. All normal except the heterogeneous MTHFR, which apparently like 60% of the female population would test positive for if they were tested. So now, I get to take Cerefolin and a Rx prenatal which will cost me about $60 per month - Yeah!

It's weird, I have never seen my baby on an ultrasound and never heard a heartbeat, but I still feel like I have lost a lot...and I still have a lot of hope...

So, this month we are trying our first clomid/IUI cycle. I am nervous and excited and....I'm not really sure what else.


Thalia said...

Sorry you had to end up with an infertility blog, I hope your stay will be short.

Stephanie said...

Hi Click,
Just wanted to welcome you. I too am sorry that you have to join this group of bloggers, but you will find great support here. It looks like we will be cycling together. I am on IVF #2 and do the bulk of my treatment in Jan. I have currently on BCPs until I start my shots on Dec. 31st. I will be checking your blog often and praying the best for you.

By the way, your dogs are too cute! I have a golden named Kona and am a dog lover too!

Baby Blues said...

I'll be praying for your successful first IUI. I'll be checking on you. I'll be doing my IUI #2 after the Holidays.
I found strength in my blog, it really helped me vent my experience to those who understand.