All I Want for Christmas is a BFP!

I am keeping my fingers and toes crossed. I am home for the holidays without much of a chance to get online, but wanted to wish everyone well!!

A Bit More Emotional Than Originally Thought and an IUI Update

So as it turns out I think the Clomid might have messed with me more than I thought. J and I were out to dinner last week and started discussing religion. I am working on figuring out what I really believe and J was raised pretty much agnostic. So, the conversation turns to how we would want to raise our children and before I know it, we are on the verge of fighting over how we should raise our children (from a religious stance) that we don't even have yet. I thought I would try to end the fight before it started, but my choice of words made it much much worse.

It went something like this:
Me: This is silly, we shouldn't be arguing about this now...if I ever give birth to a live child, then we can talk (now where did this phrase come from? I am blaming the Clomid!)
J: That is a great attitude, and most disgusting thing I have ever heard you say...why are we even bothering with this IUI?
Me: Start crying and have to go to the bathroom.

Yikes, we really don't fight like this, so it was a bit of a surprise for sure - continued fighting and I couldn't really get it together and ended up screaming at him to just get away from me...he left the apartment for a bit and I sat down and cried...anyway, when he came back we were able to hash out where each of us were coming from - but the truth is I really don't think this fight would have happened without me being hyper emotional...

ANYWAY...moving on.

I finished the Clomid on Thursday and had negative OPK's through the weekend. On Monday morning I had my LH tested and an ultrasound. I had two good sized follies (2.1 & 2.5 at my clinic) and two on the small side (1.3 and 1.6) We got the instructions for the HCG shot and the plan was to have the shot Monday night at 8:45pm and then IUI on Wednesday at 8:15am. I got a call around 3pm and found out my LH was surging, I guess the blood test is much more accurate. So...HCG shot got moved up to 5:30pm and IUI was this morning. We had to wait a while to get in, but man they do it fast once you get started! J put up some impressive numbers (190 million, 97% motile and a 3+ for morphology I think) we did the IUI and I headed to work. I really wanted to come home and lay down, but it was not to be! We are to follow up with intercourse tomorrow morning and then the dreaded 2ww begins. At least I have the holidays to keep me busy!

Clomid & The Importance of Fluoride

Today was my last day of Clomid, CD9 (or 10) if you count my stupid cycle starting in the grey zone. Because of this, I am going to start my OPK today.

It is really strange, I had all these ideas of what taking Clomid would be like, that I would feel something happening inside...but other than crying A LOT, there is not much else to report.

I am scheduled for an ultrasound on 12/18 to see what IS happening, unless of course I get an LH surge before that...I am nervous that I am going to miss the surge! What time is best to test...I have heard it all??

AND, yesterday I got the joy of writing my dentist a check for $2,100! You see, I grew up on well water before it was fluorinated and therefor have really f'cked up teeth. They are really straight and really white and REALLY full of cavities! I finally had to bite the bullet and get two ceramic inlays ($$$) and then two minor (new) cavities filled. I also am supposed to start using Rx toothpaste which is ridiculously expensive - between that and my vitamins, and my husbands vitamins (RE has him on Vitamins E & C, a multi and co enzyme Q-10) it adds up FAST!

How Did I Get Here? Rambling Thoughts

I've been asking myself this question a lot lately. I got married earlyish (24) and waited to get pregnant at first...but probably around 27-28 I really started wanting a child more than ever. My husband (J) really wasn't quite ready, so we pushed back trying to about 29. J always told me that he just knew the first time we tried I would get pregnant...and you know what? He was right and I was in shock! My excitement was short lived however when I lost my symptoms suddenly and then started to spot shortly there after, miscarrying at about 6 weeks...back then I wasn't really keeping track - HA!

So, I miscarried in July 05 and because we had a lot coming up in the next few months, we decided to hold off until October. Then the TTC really started...November...December...January (SIL pregnant) February...March...April...May (18 year old HS gives birth)...Visit RE: All the usually suspects - J's sperm seems a bit sticky but a follow up test looks good. My HSG shows potential tube problem, lap with Endo removed, normal tubes. June...July...August...September...(to be accurate, we really didn't TRY in Aug/Sept. as we traveled to Europe in October (+) Beta 13 - lovely - must have been a chemical?
November: semi-break to have bunches of tests, anti-coag etc. All normal except the heterogeneous MTHFR, which apparently like 60% of the female population would test positive for if they were tested. So now, I get to take Cerefolin and a Rx prenatal which will cost me about $60 per month - Yeah!

It's weird, I have never seen my baby on an ultrasound and never heard a heartbeat, but I still feel like I have lost a lot...and I still have a lot of hope...

So, this month we are trying our first clomid/IUI cycle. I am nervous and excited and....I'm not really sure what else.

Cuddle Monkeys

The Tough Life

How Quickly Things Can Change - and My Dogs

I now think I have a handle on the clomid cycle. Turns out my period started in the gray zone, around 2pm, so the question was which day to count as CD1. We went with the following day, I guess it is better to error on that side, which means I start my clomid today, CD5. I am not temping, should I be temping? The RE's office wants me to start OPK's on CD10 - I hate those things, they make me crazy!

In other news, our home inspection went fairly well, although there were a couple of big ticket items (high radon, very common in my state) and electrical issues. So I will spend Monday calling people for estimates before our inspection deadline hits on Wednesday. I think we are just going to ask for a reduction in the price, but the house is an estate, so there is really no telling what will happen.

And now, completely changing the subject, I can't believe it has taken me three blogs to talk about my dogs. My boys are really like my kids, in fact, they are probably more spoiled than I want my kids! They are both from the shelter, both hound dog mixes (found over a year a part) and both the most lovable, cuddly dogs I have ever known. They are also brothers through and through. Anyway, they are pretty much the reason I can find a smile everyday...I am officially a crazy dog person. All of my pictures of them are on my laptop, I will try to post one soon.

We got a house and I started my period...

...which is really no surprise since we really didn't give it a good try last month...but it did come two days early and about 5 minutes after I found out that our offer had been accepted on the house. Today's phone calls included setting up a home inspection and calling my RE's office to talk about my first clomid/IUI cycle.

The home inspection call went well, Friday at 11am - easy enough. My call to the RE was a little rough. I am sure I am making this harder than they should be...but things just didn't seem to be adding up - so I sent an email to the patient coordinator to try and double check - we shall see.

Here is a picture of our new house. It is a brick ranch built in 1925 - it has a ton of vintage charm. We are going to have to update a few things...but overall, we love it!

No longer just lurking...

After lurking for over a year, I decided it might be therapeutic to blog about my own struggle to get pregnant as well. This is my first blog and we are also in the process of trying to buy a house...so it may get off to a slow start...but more will come soon!