I have gotten myself ready multiple times to send out letters, notes, ANYTHING.... some of you might even get one soon! But I just can't keep up and I am sorry. SO, because I don't want to give up, I am vowing to keep up with your birthdays...it is my New Year's resolution! I will also try to touch base whenever I can!
Happy Birthday to Becky, Kim & April - hope it's a great year!
Look for your birthday surprises in 2008!
Monday, December 10, 2007
Saturday, November 24, 2007
I like this...
You Are The Sun |
 You represent the best of life - vitality, success, and and truth. You tend to have a strong, centered, balanced personality. Inspiration and discovery are your fortes. You are very mentally strong. A talented mind, you tend to excel at math, philosophy, and music. Your fortune: As well as you have done in the past, the future is going to be filled with more success. A new creative project is coming your way. Feed it, and it will grow into something huge. Great riches, recognition, prosperity, or happiness is coming your way. And it's possible that a fantastic vacation, or a new baby, is coming sooner than you think. |
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Binary Outcome
First of all, I owe a big and delayed THANK YOU to both JJ and Babyblues for the awesome CD's, they are in my car and soon to be loaded on my iPod...you girls really outdid yourself...and JJ, your voice is amazing. Thank you both again!
Next, we have decided to move forward with IVF...seems strange to type this....but I have also figured out a lot about myself over the last few weeks, mainly that I was feeling shy about blogging because I am superstitious and kept thinking that by blogging I might somehow be jinxing myself...which leads me to the recent discussion, errr fight I had with my husband about IVF. He is a math guy, focuses on statistics...he is in the finance business...I on the other hand, am a feeler, a guesser, a what iffer. Needless to say we are constantly finding ourselves in arguments over me worrying about everything related to getting pregnant - if what I eat will effect the outcome, if going to acu will help or hurt, you get the idea. I think he finally had it with me and looked me straight in the eyes and said this: "Babe, we are faced with binary outcomes, you will get pregnant or you will not - it will happen on our first try or it will not...there is nothing else we can do and nothing else to worry about!" At first I was so mad at him, how could he look at all of this so simplistically...but then, over time it started to sink in that he is right. IVF will either work for us or it won't, I will either get pregnant or I won't - I have to take everything one step at a time and deal with each result when it happens. No amount of worrying or second guessing is going to change the outcome.
My realization could not have come at a better time because we had our regroup meeting with the RE last week and now we have more decisions to make. She believes that there is a genetic component to our multiple miscarriages and would like us to do either PGS or CGH prior to transfer. What might you ask is CGH? We had the same question. Our clinic is working with Yale on using Comparative Genomic Hybridization to test all 23 chromosomes (vs. the 9 tested with PGS. Here are the other stats the gave us to ponder...bear with me, this gets technical!
PGS:
9 chromosomes are tested with the FISH technique.
There is a 10% chance of misdiagnosis.
While it is true that PGS can damage the embryo, it is also true that for patients like me, same age range with recurrent miscarriage, IVF success rates were seen around 33%, with PGS and IVF, success rates jumped to 66%
Cost: 5k
CGH:
All 23 chromosomes are tested
The process takes 2-4 weeks, so all embryos are frozen
The freezing technique used is vitrification, which results in a 95% successful thaw rate vs. 70% for traditional freezing.
Pregnancy rates are unknown as this is a new study, but it is doubtful they would be less than a regular FET.
Cost: 2k, no charge for FET. My doc believes this will be the way genetic screening will be done in the future and it will cost up to 10k because of the microchips needed for the test.
AND, all of this could go completely down the toilet if we only have a few embryos on day three...if this is the case we will transfer those and hold our breath!
So, what to do, what to do? I really would welcome any thoughts on this...
Next, we have decided to move forward with IVF...seems strange to type this....but I have also figured out a lot about myself over the last few weeks, mainly that I was feeling shy about blogging because I am superstitious and kept thinking that by blogging I might somehow be jinxing myself...which leads me to the recent discussion, errr fight I had with my husband about IVF. He is a math guy, focuses on statistics...he is in the finance business...I on the other hand, am a feeler, a guesser, a what iffer. Needless to say we are constantly finding ourselves in arguments over me worrying about everything related to getting pregnant - if what I eat will effect the outcome, if going to acu will help or hurt, you get the idea. I think he finally had it with me and looked me straight in the eyes and said this: "Babe, we are faced with binary outcomes, you will get pregnant or you will not - it will happen on our first try or it will not...there is nothing else we can do and nothing else to worry about!" At first I was so mad at him, how could he look at all of this so simplistically...but then, over time it started to sink in that he is right. IVF will either work for us or it won't, I will either get pregnant or I won't - I have to take everything one step at a time and deal with each result when it happens. No amount of worrying or second guessing is going to change the outcome.
My realization could not have come at a better time because we had our regroup meeting with the RE last week and now we have more decisions to make. She believes that there is a genetic component to our multiple miscarriages and would like us to do either PGS or CGH prior to transfer. What might you ask is CGH? We had the same question. Our clinic is working with Yale on using Comparative Genomic Hybridization to test all 23 chromosomes (vs. the 9 tested with PGS. Here are the other stats the gave us to ponder...bear with me, this gets technical!
PGS:
9 chromosomes are tested with the FISH technique.
There is a 10% chance of misdiagnosis.
While it is true that PGS can damage the embryo, it is also true that for patients like me, same age range with recurrent miscarriage, IVF success rates were seen around 33%, with PGS and IVF, success rates jumped to 66%
Cost: 5k
CGH:
All 23 chromosomes are tested
The process takes 2-4 weeks, so all embryos are frozen
The freezing technique used is vitrification, which results in a 95% successful thaw rate vs. 70% for traditional freezing.
Pregnancy rates are unknown as this is a new study, but it is doubtful they would be less than a regular FET.
Cost: 2k, no charge for FET. My doc believes this will be the way genetic screening will be done in the future and it will cost up to 10k because of the microchips needed for the test.
AND, all of this could go completely down the toilet if we only have a few embryos on day three...if this is the case we will transfer those and hold our breath!
So, what to do, what to do? I really would welcome any thoughts on this...
Friday, October 19, 2007
Realization
I just realized that for the minute I was pregnant last month it was during my 7th anniversary. I never imagined we would be married so long without children - I wonder where we will be for our 8th?
I have just seven weeks left until my holiday break at school, one whole month off and then only 15 weeks until I graduate. Unbelievable.
I have just seven weeks left until my holiday break at school, one whole month off and then only 15 weeks until I graduate. Unbelievable.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
What's Next?
I really don't know and I really hate this. Part of me wants to dive into IVF in December, another part of me never wants to try it. I am scared to death it won't work and I am scared it will work and then something will go wrong.
The truth is, I am not sure that I will be able to blog about whatever we decide. I love to check in with you all but for some reason I am feeling blog shy...I don't know why, but it is a strange and overwhelming feeling.
I promise to let you know what we decide, and maybe my craziness will subside...but in the meantime, I wish you well and I will pray for positives.
I always loved the song I Believe in You by Don Williams...I never really listened to all of the lyrics until today and while a few of them are a bit strange, I will leave you with this for now...
"I believe in love, I believe in babies.... I believe in mom and dad and I believe in you!"
The truth is, I am not sure that I will be able to blog about whatever we decide. I love to check in with you all but for some reason I am feeling blog shy...I don't know why, but it is a strange and overwhelming feeling.
I promise to let you know what we decide, and maybe my craziness will subside...but in the meantime, I wish you well and I will pray for positives.
I always loved the song I Believe in You by Don Williams...I never really listened to all of the lyrics until today and while a few of them are a bit strange, I will leave you with this for now...
"I believe in love, I believe in babies.... I believe in mom and dad and I believe in you!"
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Chemical
Beta sucked. I hate this shit. It is funny, I knew the second I was pregnant and again the second I wasn't...it never gets any easier. Off for a good cry and then to write a paper on the birth I assisted with the other day...joy.
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